I recently had a challenging series of conversations with a tech support representative about a problem that was enormously frustrating. At one point, a supervisor kept repeating the same instruction despite my telling her that I didn’t understand what she was saying.
Her solution was to say it again. Only louder.
Over the next few hours, I replayed this in my mind. Eventually, I realized what she had failed to articulate. The missing piece was so obvious to her that she never thought to explain it. To me, however, it was completely foreign.
Once I understood that, the entire conversation made sense.
Have you ever experienced something similar in your leadership role? Have you found yourself frustrated because your people didn’t seem to understand what you were talking about?
Leaders encounter this problem more often than they realize.
The longer we work in a profession, the more likely we are to assume that others see what we see. We understand the terminology, the processes, the history, and the context. Over time, it becomes difficult to remember what it felt like not to know those things.
As a result, we unintentionally skip steps in our communication.
When people respond with blank stares, confused questions, or dazed expressions, it’s often a sign that two different languages are being spoken. The challenge is that we may not immediately recognize the disconnect because what we’re saying seems perfectly clear to us.
Of course, these communication breakdowns rarely happen when we have plenty of time. They tend to occur when we’re rushed, under pressure, facing a deadline, or juggling competing priorities.
That’s when leadership discipline matters most.
Instead of repeating yourself louder, slower, or more emphatically, step back and look for what may be missing. Ask questions. Invite people to explain their understanding. Walk through your thinking with someone else. Draw it on a whiteboard. Look at the situation through the eyes of someone who lacks your experience and context.
Often, the problem isn’t resistance or lack of capability. It’s a blind spot.
And the most challenging thing about blind spots is that by definition, we can’t see them ourselves.
When you finally uncover the missing piece, you’ll often be amazed at how obvious it seems in hindsight.
That’s why it’s called a blind spot.
Something to think about: Where might your expertise be making it harder for others to understand what seems perfectly clear to you?
“I think of a challenge network as the group of your most thoughtful critics who are able to hold up a mirror so that you can see your blind spots and then know what you need to rethink.”
– Adam Grant
Header image by Jumah/Pexels.
