Leadership behaviors spread quickly through organizations — sometimes in productive ways, and sometimes in destructive ones.
When people think about improving at work, they usually focus on acquiring new skills. Far less attention is given to the behaviors, habits, or attitudes that should be eliminated.
As a leader, this matters enormously because people are always watching you. Whether intentionally or not, employees often adopt the behaviors that leaders model.
I once worked closely with two leaders who desperately needed to improve their interpersonal skills. They had become so rude and abrasive with their staff that a senior-level employee ultimately filed a legal complaint against them.
What struck me most was that neither leader initially believed they were doing anything wrong.
The head of the group openly acknowledged that he was coarse and uncompromising, but he viewed those traits as irrelevant because he was exceptionally talented in his field. In his mind, performance excused behavior.
The second leader surprised me even more. She had unconsciously adopted the group head’s style because she assumed that this was what successful leadership looked like. Even though the behavior felt unnatural to her, it never occurred to her that harshness and intimidation were inappropriate.
That’s the good news and bad news of leadership behavior: it spreads.
When I asked her whether she would be willing to give up that approach, she agreed almost immediately. The group head was more resistant, but even he reconsidered when he understood the organizational and legal consequences of continued complaints.
Most leadership growth doesn’t come from dramatic transformation. Often, it comes from identifying one damaging behavior and deciding to stop doing it.
What do you do that you should give up?
Perhaps it’s interrupting people. Avoiding difficult conversations. Dismissing feedback. Micromanaging. Defensiveness. Impatience.
The first step is awareness. The second is accountability.
Consider partnering with someone you trust. Each of you can identify one behavior you want to eliminate and check in regularly on your progress. Not only does this create accountability, but an outside perspective can help you recognize blind spots when you get stuck.
Leadership is not only about what you develop. Sometimes it’s about what you choose to leave behind.
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”
– Henry David Thoreau
Header image by Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels.
