My friend and colleague, Bob, and I had an interesting conversation over lunch. I was commenting on the scope of some of his professional achievements and learned that one of his most influential drivers was a colleague, Tony, who represented the antithesis of who he wanted to become.
Early in his career, Bob worked closely with Tony, who was the embodiment of making a deal regardless of whether the sale was good for the prospective client. Not only did he not take time to get to know his prospects or understand their needs, but he quite simply didn’t care.
Bob realized quickly that this was diametrically opposite to his philosophy, and the exposure to Tony actually strengthened his resolve to always provide service and value, regardless of whether it would be immediately profitable.
The result, of course, has been that Bob has been extremely successful. He operates from an ethical core, doesn’t try to sell people what they don’t need, and focuses on value.
We talk a lot about positive role models and mentors, who obviously play an important role in our professional growth and development. We talk less about the people who might make our skin crawl because we just can’t imagine being like them.
Keep in mind, though, that the Tonys of the world can be valuable – if we approach them like Bob did. Bob took Tony’s negative qualities as a foundation for whom he did not want to become, but didn’t dwell on those attributes.
Instead, he used those characteristics to clearly define the type of professional he wanted to be and focused on those to shape his future.
If a “negative” role model inspires you, it’s essential to concentrate on what inspires you, not what repels you.
This lesson is a good one for leaders. When you have employees who struggle with difficult people, for example, guide them to transpose the negative elements into their opposites and use that inversion to propel them forward.
“Leaders are more powerful role models when they learn than when they teach.”
― Rosabeth Moss Kantor
Header image by Mikhail Nilov/Pexels.
